You Promised Me You Would Never Change...

They look at me and say... You Promised Me You Would Never Change... And I won't...

It's funny how you meet someone and you feel like it's meant to be. Ya'll on the same beat, same tune, hearts beating to the same rhythm, same verse, singing the same lyrics... Right? Wrong!

Shit is always so good in the beginning. Oh you wanna know everything about me... You love everything about me. I'm so down to earth, so real, yet so smart and educated right? So young but yet so mature. Smile that lights up the room. Hell, I thought those were all the things you loved about me??? Wrong again. Now all of a sudden, I'm so hood, I don't wanna grow up, I don't wanna make lateral moves, I'm being complacent???

Let's get one thing STRAIGHT. I'm from the WESTSIDE of Atlanta, and NOTHING will ever change that. However, I am a college graduate, Tuskegee University Class of 2008 GPA 3.05, I have a career, I am on the path to reaching my (true) career goals, I'm a Mother, a provider, and foremost a Child of God. He made me the way he wanted me to be, and as I have stressed several times over the course of this blog, I'M OKAY WITH THAT. I'm so confident, so sincere, and so PROUD of the woman that I have grown to be.

But you don't feel as though I'm not good enough. I don't have any etiquette. I have a gap. I'm gaining weight... I mean, but who the hell are you to judge me?

I'm not the one who changed. I'm not like you. I'm still the same one, with my loud music, windows down rebel without a cause bad ass. No career, no money, no group of friends, no region of which I live, no person on this MUTHAFUCKIN Earth, will ever change me, Ryan Amorell Woodbury, raised on the WESTSIDE, still on the WESTSIDE, and guess what baby, I'M OK WITH THAT! HOLLA!

Prayer :)

I honesty feel like people been sleeping on Jesus. That's the only thing that makes sense to me. Most times when people tell me they have a problem, I asked, "Well have you prayed about it?" And most people be like, "Man, you right..." But they still carry on complaining. When is the last time you prayed about it?

Over the past two weeks, I been taking a different approach on EVERYTHING. I mean everything. Every night I been praying myself to sleep, or reading the word til I go to sleep, and I can honestly say I been seeing a difference. People/situations I been confused about, aren't even an issue any more. Lol. I ain't even thought about that nigga alllllllll day today. Lol and that's real. My problems, I ain't been stressing on em. And I got a rebate check in the mail today! Holla!

Simply put,

Pray on it...

I did :)

If Heavan Was A Mile Away...

"If heaven was a mile away, would I fill up the tank with gas, and be out the front door in a flash? Before reconsidering this Hell with you? It ain't you, its the things you do, its tearing my heart in two... I woulda failed with you.... To hell with you..."

Funny how words to a song could cut so deep, esp when they true.

My past two relationships, all I been doing is holding on to people that weren't right for me, and I knew that, and in turn, I've wasted 6years of my life. 6years that coulda went to the one that was right for me. The one in which God intended. One day on facebook, I randomly saw a quote that said "It's wiser to be single than in the wrong relationship" and when I saw it, I automatically knew it was for me, I just slept on it, hoping it would work out... #sigh. Sad to say it didn't, but oh well right? Wrong.

Hell, I hate being lonely. I mean who the hell wants to start over. I don't. But I realized that maybe, this is how its supposed to be. God wants me to focus on Him. Not these dead end relationships.

So, I asked you to take a look @ yourself... and make some decisions. Some real ones... Holla!

Scratch... And I'm Cool with that :)

What is Scratch anyway??? Remember that episode of Martin when he was tryna get that Driver's License and he had to go to the back of the line??? Yea, that's where I'm at right about now. #sidenote, this is MY BLOG, so I can say what I like... All the incorrect English I want :) Yesss! I don't have to be judged, Just say how I feel... 


Anyway, so back to Scratch. Breaking up, yes BREAKING UP, with someone after like 3 years is some BS. That's exactly where you have to go, back to SCRATCH. Everybody pointing to you like "Yea, back of the line my nig!" Dang, and here I am walking to the back looking like a duck. Lol. Now the reason we broke up really doesn't matter. We both been playing the role that has lead the relationship to where it's at. And yes, the type of person he is, he would be hella pissed if he knew that I was blogging about his black ____ right now. Lol.That's 
why this is my blog, I can say what I want :). 


But the crazy part about it is, I might just #lowkey #secretly be okay with the breakup. Granted I miss the _____ and I be lonely sometimes, that's natural when you first breakup with someone. Oh well, I'll get over it. But... The ironic part is, I'm not really interested in meeting new people. Hell, I've never liked dating new people, I just like being with my friends, lol, people who I already know (sad and lazy of me I know). #sigh... 


BUT, instead of dwelling on that, I decided that I would do something different with my time, this go 'round. Hell, instead of dwelling on these ____s, I'm bout to get me a MASTER's DEGREE! Yessir! The only problem is, I can't decide of weather to get it in School Counseling or School Psychology... So now I'm at another crossroad. BUT, I've made the decision to go and I will be enrolled by 2011. Hell, maybe in the next month if I get my act right! 


Anyway, more about me right now, I'm on a FAST... No drinks (water only) and no fried foods. I'm trying to get a breakthrough around this guy! So I gotta do what I gotta do. WHOA! Now don't get it twisted GOD is number 1 in my life, we been getting real close AND I started reading the BIBLE from SCRATCH.Lol, so yea, I'm just like in Genesis, Chapter 6, and I'm cool with that:) And, I got this app on my phone, where everytime I open it, It give me another Bible Verse, so Im reading that guy all day everytime I randomly have a moment. I hate that we have to go through stuff to get closer to GOD, but as long as you get close to him that's all that matters. 


So... I'm back to Scratch... And I'm cool with that :) (that's how God wants it anyway)

Syn said it best, Deuces :) 

All good conversation, manners, and action, come from a spontaneity which forgets usages, and makes the moment great. Nature hates calculators; her methods are saltatory and impulsive. 


-Ralph Waldo Emerson